


Rose From A Devil

by LoWritesThings



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: AU: everyone is mortal, Charlotte has never been Mom, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Guys I have never seen The Bachelor and I watched it just to write this fic, The Bachelor AU no one asked for, freaking soulmates, oh yeah and Pierce isn't Cain he's just Pierce, with hints of Miss Congeniality but mostly just The Bachelor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:20:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26341774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoWritesThings/pseuds/LoWritesThings
Summary: Identity theft is not a joke--but it IS how Lucifer ends up being TV's most popular bachelor. It's all just a bit of fun and he fully intends to hand Mazikeen the final rose...until death threats arrive and one of the potential contestants is attacked and nearly killed. Detective Chloe Decker is forced to join twenty-four other single ladies in pursuit of Lucifer's heart (as well as a potential killer, of course), and the line between personal and professional is quickly blurred.It's The Bachelor AU no one asked for, featuring an entirely mortal cast but keeping all those cheeky devil references we love so much.
Relationships: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar
Comments: 111
Kudos: 212





	1. 1. Dan Is Going To Pay For This

**Author's Note:**

> Because everyone is mortal, Charlotte has never been a goddess and Pierce is not Cain and has no relation to Eve. Oh, and there are a couple OCs but only to fill out the ranks of contestants, those will disappear quickly as the story goes on.
> 
> To be 100% honest, even though there's a murder plot...this is really just complete self-indulgence. It's also unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine.
> 
> Wanna scream with me about the show or this story? I'm on [Tumblr](https://lowritesthings.tumblr.com/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/lsowrites).
> 
> Thank you for your time!

This whole thing had been Dan’s idea.

 _Luxury Bachelor_ is the kind of show Chloe watches on her worst, loneliest nights; the ones where Trixie is with Dan and she’s drinking wine right out of the bottle whilst painting her toenails and naming each of her many future cats. The idea of a bunch of women competing for some rich idiot should offend every patriarchy-hating cell in her body, but...well, everyone has their guilty pleasures, right? _Luxury Bachelor_ is hers, even though it goes against all of her ideals. And because it goes against all of her ideals, it’s not something she _tells_ anyone about. Bad enough that the whole precinct hates her because of the Palmetto thing. She’d literally never hear the end of it if those assholes heard she also indulges in ice cream and episodes of sordid reality TV. But she supposes it doesn’t matter now if they know or not, because she isn’t just watching it anymore. She’s about to _star_ on it.

The thing is, _Luxury Bachelor_ has always stirred up controversy. So Chloe hadn’t exactly been surprised when Dan had propped his hip against her desk two weeks ago and told her both the producer and this season’s bachelor had received death threats. The surprising part came just after that.

“One of the contestants was attacked and damn near killed last night. Whoever is making these threats means business, Chloe. A cop needs to take her place and I told the lieutenant it should be you,” Dan had informed her.

So here she is, in an evening gown with a slit so high she’s sure she won’t be able to make it out of the limo without putting on a show of her own. She’s fine in heels usually, but the ones she’s wearing now seem designed to break ankles and she doesn’t have her gun, leaving her feeling more exposed than she has in a long time.

Dan is going to pay for this.

The limo pulls up to her hotel and she hurries out to meet it, ignoring the curious stares from the other guests in the lobby as she slips into the car. She breathes a sigh of relief as soon as she’s inside before realizing she’s not alone. There’s another woman—a _gorgeous_ woman—already there, draped across the bench seat at the back like a queen on a throne, and her dark eyes flash as they appraise each other. Her dress is black and tight and shows an awful lot of skin. She smirks at Chloe with scarlet red lips and tilts her head.

“Ah. My competition.”

“Something like that,” Chloe replies. “I’m Chloe.”

“Mazikeen.” The woman leans forward suddenly, dropping her elbows to her knees and steepling her fingers as her eyes rove over Chloe from head to toe. “Well, insomuch as he’s got a type, you’re it.”

“You know him? Lucifer Morningstar?” That’s interesting...and potentially very helpful.

Mazikeen’s smirk widens at her eager tone. “We go way back.”

“I’m surprised they let you in the competition.” Chloe shifts in her seat and smooths her dress down over her thighs.

Mazikeen lifts an indifferent shoulder and relaxes back into her seat again, turning her face toward the window though the scenery appears to bore her. “Oh, I’m used to bending the rules,” she says in a dry voice. She waves a languid hand and adds, “There’s champagne I guess,” and Chloe understands it's a dismissal. She falls silent, fidgeting with her borrowed bracelet until they stop at an apartment building to pick up another couple of ladies.

One is a slightly older woman, blonde with glasses, short and curvy and cheerful. The other is a young lady, clearly excited, with bright eyes and layered necklaces. She’s wearing a short dress and a huge smile.

“Hi, I’m Ella and this is one of the craziest things I’ve ever done. And _this_ is Linda, she’s amazing and smart and a doctor, so obviously she’s going to be a pretty fierce competitor,” the younger woman says. Mazikeen rolls her eyes so hard that Chloe has to hide a grin, but Linda offers a perfectly polite smile and extends her hand for a shake.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” she admits. “I’m writing a paper, but...I dunno, there’s just something _about_ him. Even on video, he’s just magnetic isn’t he?”

“Oh, yeah. He’s definitely _mucho caliente_. Have you been to his club? I haven’t made it in yet but I hear it’s _the_ spot in LA,” Ella says as she leans across the bench seat to give Chloe a hug. “We’re a lucky group of bachelorettes. Do you think he’s as bad as his reputation makes him out to be?”

“Probably not.” Chloe snorts and shakes her head. “A ton of guys like him are mostly just talk. A lot of attitude, a lot of hot air, but nothing to back it up.”

“Well, he can back me up if he wants. I’m here for the adventure. And for intense make outs in exotic places,” Ella replies, her eyes lit with anticipation, and Linda surprises Chloe by grinning back at the girl.

“You know what? Me too!” she says. She grabs the bottle of champagne and lifts it. “Cheers!”

She takes a swig and passes it to Ella. Then Ella takes a drink and passes it to Chloe. She hesitates—she _is_ on the job, even if she’s undercover—but then she takes a swig. She holds it out to Mazikeen, but the other woman only lifts her eyebrows and gives an incredulous laugh.

“No thanks.” She pulls a flask out of...somewhere, Chloe isn’t sure she wants to know where, and takes a long drink. “I’ll stick with my own.”

They pick up one last girl named Karma. She’s as bubbly as the champagne and Mazikeen looks like she’s going to throw the girl out of the moving limo, but Karma doesn’t seem to notice. She’s completely absorbed by herself—and Lucifer Morningstar.

“I just want to rub myself all over his body. Have you seen those hands? I have lots of ideas for those fingers,” Karma says. Ella laughs and cries, “Yeah girl!” before slapping Karma a high-five. Mazikeen leans forward again, suddenly interested. Her smirk is downright wicked as she eyeballs Karma’s tiny cocktail dress.

“Well, if he doesn’t want to play, _I_ will,” she says, wiggling her own fingers. “I mean, I know we’re here for _him_ or whatever, but there’s no reason we can’t have a little fun too.”

“Isn’t that against the rules?” Chloe asks, and Mazikeen gives her a look of total exasperation.

“I take it back, you’re not Lucifer’s type at all.”

For some reason, Chloe finds this comment annoying, though she isn’t sure why exactly. It’s not like she’s here to win the competition. She’s only here to make sure no one else on the show gets hurt (or killed) and to find the person making the threats.

They make one more stop and a cameraman climbs into the back of the limo with them, and then the conversation completely devolves as Ella, Karma and Linda all indulge in squeals and speculation about this year’s bachelor.

Lucifer Morningstar is well-known in the City of Angels. He owns a club that attracts enough people for lines to circle the block every single night. Apparently he’s wealthier than some of his celebrity patrons, and even Chloe has heard about his penchant for granting favors. He’s also devilishly attractive: her internet search had shown her that he is literally tall, dark and handsome. Every image of him seems designed to beckon, to tempt, and Chloe finds it hard to believe that this show is anything other than a publicity stunt to keep all eyes on him. But whatever his reasons, and no matter what he looks like, her job remains the same.

They’re being driven out to a mansion in Agoura Hills, which is where they’ll all live until this ridiculous charade is over. Chloe closes her eyes and focuses on the details of the case: she’ll be with twenty four women, a huge crew, and Lucifer himself for weeks as the show is filmed. Any of the cast or crew could be the one attacking contestants and making threats. Only an insider could have hurt the contestant Chloe replaced. Filming had already started and the girls had been isolated when Michele Harris had been attacked.

But Chloe is confident that as long as she’s involved with the show, she can keep everyone on set safe. And if the aspiring killer is one of the girls that gets eliminated, the team at the precinct will grab her. None of them can leave LA until the filming is completely wrapped, so the situation is completely under control. Which means exactly nothing: under control is just one step away from total chaos in her experience.

The limo slows and all of a sudden the cheers are deafening. Chloe’s eyes shoot open and Mazikeen captures her gaze immediately. She’s smirking again, and she gives an ironic little eyeroll at the antics of the other women in the car. Chloe finds herself smiling without meaning to, and to her surprise Mazikeen’s smirk becomes something a touch more genuine. Then she tilts her chin toward the window, and Chloe looks out to spot Lucifer in person for the first time.

He’s waiting patiently, hands clasped and resting in front of him. There’s a hint of a mocking smile playing about his lips, and as the limo comes to a complete halt he shakes out his sleeves and adjusts his cufflinks. The long, tailored lines of his suit make him look even taller and something very like anticipation shivers down her spine as she watches him, glad to be protected from reciprocal observation by the tinted glass. The women are meant to exit the limo in a specific order, and Ella is the first one out. She practically dances up the steps and across the pathway toward Lucifer, beaming as bright as the sun. He holds out his hands to her as she gets close, and she takes them and swings their arms as they exchange a greeting. Then she bobs in a little curtsy and he responds by bowing over her hand before brushing his lips over her knuckles. He absolutely _radiates_ charm, and Chloe can’t decide if she finds it annoying or intriguing.

Mazikeen climbs out of the limo next, winking at Chloe before she exits. She makes it up to Lucifer in long, decisive strides. Whatever she says to Lucifer illicites a sinful grin out of him, and then she strides off toward the mansion with a little wiggle of her fingers.

“Ohhh my god, I’m so nervous,” Linda breathes. She’s pressed up to the glass next to Chloe, watching as Karma joins Lucifer. He air-kisses her cheeks and laughs at something she whispers to him, then lets her talk him into a quick little salsa dance before she releases him and heads into the mansion. The charm is still present, but a little less genuine with Karma.

And now it’s Chloe’s turn.

There’s a tremor in her hands as she emerges from the limo, making sure to smooth her dress down as she stands. Why is she nervous? This isn't even real for her. It isn’t real for any of them truly, but she doesn’t have a horse in this race.

She gives him a nervous smile as she crosses the last few feet between them and his eyes sparkle down at her. His grin is both welcoming and mischievous, and he leans back a little to drink in the sight of her for a moment longer.

“Why hello, darling,” he says in his velvety accent. “That’s quite a dress.”

“Thank you,” Chloe replies, and there’s an unfamiliar heat uncurling in her stomach as she tilts her head back and looks up at him. Tall, broad shoulders, hair that’s begging to be pulled and warm brown eyes that seem to dance with laughter, plus a sexy British accent: he’s absolutely devastating. He knows it too, she can see that. He smirks and winks at her as if he can tell exactly what he’s doing to her, and all of a sudden her nerves are gone and she’s resisting the urge to roll her eyes at him.

“You know who I am, but who are _you?”_ he asks.

“Chloe Decker. From...well, from here. LA, I mean.” She tilts her head as she gazes up at him, trying for flirtatiousness since there are at least three cameras on them. “I’m a detective.”

“And an actress, am I right?” His grin is unabashedly devilish as he returns her firm handshake.

“Mm, reformed actress,” she replies.

“Yes, I particularly loved—”

“Don’t say it,” she groans.

“— _Hot Tub High School._ ” Lucifer chuckles warmly as she finally does roll her eyes. “But I can see that’s a bit of a sore spot so we’ll move along, shall we? Tell me—what do you desire from this, Detective? True love?”

Chloe’s brow furrows before she catches herself and smiles again. “Of course,” she lies smoothly. “I’m completely ready to fall in love.”

Now it’s Lucifer’s brow that furrows. He’s staring into Chloe’s eyes, searching her expression for some further answer, but she gives the barest jerk of her chin toward the cameras and he suddenly seems to remember they’re being filmed. “Yes, well...I’m certain I’ll be coming away from this with a lasting partnership...but perhaps there are a few more surprises in store than I’d anticipated,” he murmurs, still gazing at her contemplatively. Chloe stares back at him, somehow unable to pull her eyes away from his. Then she forces herself to focus.

“Well, I better get inside. See you in there?” she says, and his smile returns. It’s playful this time and he nods at her.

“Count on it, Detective,” he replies, and he leans down to her. She expects the same brief air-kisses he’d exchanged with Karma, but his lips linger on her cheek. She shivers at the softness of his lips contrasted with the scrape of his stubble.

 _Stop that,_ she tells herself even as heat floods her face. She takes in a shuddering breath and then smiles at him once more before heading into the mansion.

It isn’t until she picks up her glass champagne and goes to sit with Linda, Ella and Mazikeen that she realizes that—whether she’s here on false pretenses or not—he actually _flusters_ her.

This assignment could turn out even more humiliating than she’d originally thought. With that depressing realization in mind, she downs the rest of her champagne and picks up another glass.

* * *

There are a _lot_ of women in this room. All of them dressed to the nines, all of them watching each other, whispering, and assessing. There are three different Brittanys alone. Twenty five ladies are all here for one man—and it seems different now that Chloe is in the middle of it instead of watching it on TV. Her goal isn’t to win this thing, but even she finds herself glancing around, wondering which of these women might catch Lucifer’s fancy.

“Pathetic, aren’t they?” Mazikeen says as she appears at Chloe’s side. Chloe jumps and her champagne sloshes over her hand as she clutches her chest.

“Jeez, you scared me. How’d you sneak up on me like that?”

Mazikeen’s reply is a sly smile. Then she gestures at all the women surrounding them. “They’re all so _desperate_.”

“Well, why are you here, Mazikeen?”

“Call me Maze,” she replies, “and I’m here to keep an eye on my…my friend. This might seem like exactly the sort of thing a Lucifer would be into, but…” She shrugs. “I just don’t want anyone to embarrass him. Or take advantage of him.”

“Ah.” Chloe nods her understanding. “Are you in love with him?”

Maze snorts in genuine amusement. “No.”

It’s said with a sort of ringing finality that makes Chloe think there might be something there...but it doesn’t matter _._ She has _a_ _job to do._ She takes a fortifying breath and relaxes her grip on her champagne flute just as the doors open and Lucifer strides through them, smiling broadly and throwing his arms out wide in welcome.

“Right, well! Now that you’re all here, let’s celebrate. And please don’t be shy, I’m looking forward to getting to know each and every one of you.” He looks around at all of the now-cheering women, but when his eyes find Chloe’s he winks and she turns her face away before he can see her blush.

As soon as he’s among them, it’s as though he’s touched off a feeding frenzy. Women are almost literally circling him, and Chloe shifts into detective mode. One of these women might have attacked Michele Harris and might be planning to attack Lucifer, so she needs to observe all of them as quickly and accurately as she can.

After a few minutes, the Brittanys pull him into a secluded corner to giggle and flirt. He’s having a good time by the looks of it: he’s laughing and teasing them, letting them touch him. Everything about him is suggestive and inviting, but Chloe can’t shake the feeling that it’s mostly an act. Empty fun rather than a serious attempt at a connection. The very thought brings her a tendril of satisfaction.

“This is nauseating,” Maze sighs. Then she prowls off in search of more alcohol, pushing her way through the other women when they don’t clear a path fast enough.

The next woman to get Lucifer alone is Linda. She draws him to a nearby couch and they sit, touching from shoulders to thighs. He’s warmer with her, more attentive, and when she reaches up to touch his chest, he catches her hand and brushes his mouth over her fingertips. After a few moments of conversation he stands, straightens out his suit jacket, and plunges back into the crowd. Meanwhile Linda is left looking a little awestruck as she slumps back against the couch.

This pattern continues—him absconding with any woman brave enough to ask him for a tête-à-tête—but time is running out before he’ll have to eliminate ten of these women.

She’s wandering around slowly, sipping her champagne as she listens to the women snipe at each other under the thin veils of humor or good manners. Then a warm hand closes gently around her elbow, and Lucifer is tugging her out of the room and into the garden. Smiling like a schoolboy breaking rules, he tucks them into a shadowed corner behind some hedges.

“You’re a hard one to pin down,” he says, and Chloe feels that heat in her belly again as his eyes rake over her. “I’ve been trying to get a moment alone with you all night.”

“With me?” Chloe giggles, hoping it sounds nervous and flirty instead of forced. There _are_ still cameras floating around after all.

“Absolutely,” he replies, and there’s a dangerously wicked gleam in his eye as he leans even closer. His mouth is ghosting across her ear and her hands come up to grip his lapels because her knees have gone suspiciously weak.

“Spotted anyone naughty yet, Detective?” he whispers, too low for the cameras to hear.

“Not yet, but I’ll keep looking,” she murmurs back.

“My, you _are_ diligent. I’m feeling delightfully protected. How shall I reward you for such selfless devotion to duty?” he purrs, brushing his nose and lips against the skin just under her jaw.

Chloe closes her eyes and sucks in an unsteady breath...and then she pushes against his chest lightly. “Just get me to the end of this thing,” she says.

He leans back, his expression going from teasing to neutrally pleasant even as he searches her gaze again. “As promised,” he agrees. Then he nudges her with his elbow and adds, “Though you probably would have made it even without a deal. I had no idea you’d be so lovely, Detective.”

“Gee, thanks.” Chloe crosses her arms over her chest and fixes him with an unimpressed stare. He chuckles and leans in again, brushing his lips over her forehead.

“I’ll see you when it’s time for the roses, eh?”

“See you then,” Chloe agrees, and he leaves her with one last gentle squeeze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regarding Lucifer and Chloe's introduction: Lucifer is mortal here so he can't mojo anyone, he just likes to stir the pot. His confusion is stemming more from Chloe's aversion to finding love than her resisting his charms.
> 
> To be honest, I was going to keep him as the literal devil when I first started writing this, but I wanted to include all the women in Luci's life so I made everyone mortal to minimize any awkward connections. Chloe and Luci's initial conversation is left over from when he was still the Dark Lord, but I liked it so I kept it even though he can't mojo anyone.


	2. All Michael's Fault

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was so blown away by the response to the first chapter of this! Thank you so much, I can't tell you how excited it was! I can't always promise to update this quickly but I'll try to keep up a good pace.
> 
> Just a quick note: I needed to give Eve a last name, so I went with Dehortus. It's a bit of a mouthful, but de hortus means "of the garden" in Latin so...
> 
> Also, this chapter is from Lucifer's POV. The plan is to keep alternating between Chloe and Lucifer's POVs so next time it'll be Chloe's again.
> 
> Thank you for your time!

This whole thing is Michael’s fault.

Perpetually overlooked Michael has done this sort of thing in the past. Lucifer has arrived at his club more than once only to find Michael already there, masquerading as his twin. He’s stolen Lucifer’s valuables as well as his identity, and ruined more than one relationship, so it isn’t all that shocking when Lucifer finds out that Michael has somehow gotten him involved with this _Luxury Bachelor_ show. Clearly Michael had been hoping that no one would find out he wasn’t Lucifer until after he’d traveled the world with two dozen beautiful women.

By the time Mazikeen had caught wind of the whole thing and told him about it, the network was far too committed and promotional material had already been released. But Lucifer wasn’t going to let Michael literally ruin his image by participating, so he’d agreed to being on the show himself—with the caveat that Mazikeen must come along so he can choose her as the ultimate winner.

The whole thing is extremely silly and he’s going to have to have a _conversation_ with Michael at some point, but the publicity for the club is good and as a side bonus, Mazikeen is fuming mad. Lucifer decides to lean into his new role, to have fun with it. Besides, that will rub salt into Michael’s wounds and there’s nothing he loves more except maybe free trips around the world.

The death threats don’t bother him much. He’s received similar missives in the past. A name like Lucifer hasn’t made him many friends and his lifestyle seems to infuriate a certain sect of people. But then the girl gets hurt and the police get involved, and now it’s not only Mazikeen that has to make it to the end of the season, but this detective woman too.

He pours himself a couple fingers of scotch and sits at his piano. He’d never had the pleasure of meeting Michele Harris but he makes a mental note to have flowers sent to her hospital room. He hasn’t met this ‘Detective Decker’ either. Hopefully she won’t be _boring_. He’d hate to have to drag her along to the very last rose ceremony if she’s utterly tedious.

Amenadiel paces just off to his left. The closer they get to actually meeting these women, the more uneasy he seems. For someone so powerful and certain of his place in the universe, it’s rather hilarious to see Amenadiel so untethered.

“It’s not too late to back out of this, Luci.”

“Well of course it is. I’ve signed a contract.” Lucifer’s left hand begins picking out a few notes on the piano keys while he sips scotch with his right. “And I’ll have LAPD’s finest with me, or so I’m told.”

“But this isn’t someone sending empty threats. A girl was nearly killed. This person is serious and you’re deliberately putting yourself in danger.”

Lucifer’s answering grin is wolfish and has the added benefit of making Amenadiel give him a particularly exasperated look.

“Really, brother—you’re being much too dramatic. You’ll be there, Maze will be there, and so will this detective. If all of you can’t keep me from bodily harm, I’m not certain what will.” He sets down his tumbler and his right hand joins his left on the piano keys. A song begins drifting through the penthouse—Ludovico Einaudi’s _Primavera_ —and Amenadiel stops pacing. “It’s just a few weeks of frolicking. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Amenadiel’s unamused expression becomes even less amused, if such a thing is possible. “Famous last words,” he reminds Lucifer, but Lucifer waves it off.

“Nonsense. Even you’ll enjoy this—if I have to drag you kicking and screaming.”

Amenadiel sighs as though he’s bearing the weight of the world on his shoulders instead of preparing to accompany Lucifer and twenty-five women to various picturesque locations. He really is going to have to get his brother to loosen up.

But that’s a problem for another day. Today it’s time to open the doors to the club and welcome his adoring (if degenerate) public.

* * *

When the time comes to meet the women for the first time Lucifer is prepared to enjoy himself. Frankly, he’s _always_ prepared to enjoy himself, but this experience is exceeding even his expectations. The first few ladies from the initial limousine have all been lovely—the sharp-witted Aspen, the mysterious Celia, the bold Lily. But Suki...Suki throws him a bit.

“After all my research I feel like I already know you. And I know I’m _perfect_ for you,” she tells him, gazing up at him like he hangs the stars in the sky. He smiles at her but decides right away that she won’t be sticking around too long—especially after she announces she has a gift for him and hands him a doll she made. It’s his own likeness, even down to the French cuffs, and it sends a frisson of unease down his spine.

“How kind of you,” he says, shoving down his discomfort with an effort. “Thank you. We’ll speak more inside, eh darling?”

She grips his arm and leans into him. “Oh yes, I can’t wait to spend more time with you after watching you for so long.”

 _It might be prudent to mention Miss Price to this mysterious detective, whenever she shows up,_ he thinks. But when she does show up, he finds himself unprepared.

She’s in the second limousine. Ella had caught his attention with her vibrancy and excitement. Maze had simply asked if she could be a part of the inevitable sleepover-slash-orgy, and Karma’s little salsa dance had been fun and sexy.

But the next woman takes his breath away.

He manages to keep up his usual devil-may-care façade thanks to years of practice, but the moment he sees her it feels as though he’s had the wind knocked out of him. Her eyes skitter around a little bit but when he catches them at last, they’re a crisp blue. The lovely lines of her are accented by a turquoise evening gown that plays up those astonishing eyes. And there’s quite a slit up one side of it which teases him with delectable glimpses of her long legs.

When she introduces herself as his—as _the_ —detective, he can hardly believe his luck. She’s easy to tease and smart, and he’s certain there won’t be any hardship in keeping her around. The trouble will be remembering to pay attention to all the other lovely ladies here.

Besides, he desperately wants to know why she doesn’t take more pride in her performance in _Hot Tub High School._ As far as he’s concerned, she’d been marvelous.

“Hello, Lucifer,” a voice calls, breaking into his very pleasant memory of _that scene._ He turns to greet an attractive blonde, taking her hands in his own as she smiles seductively at him and says, “The doctor is in.”

He grins back at her as she introduces herself as Linda. Perhaps he should thank Michael for this opportunity after all.

* * *

Eve corners him as soon as he’s kicked off the party in the house. She had been unexpected. He wasn’t aware that they invited old flames onto the show.

Her dark eyes are just as teasing as they’d always been, and her smile is one of utter delight as she pulls him away from the crowd. Her dress is white and clings to her body in frothy ruffles, but there are red accents which remind him of a slasher movie. It’s a beautiful if slightly sinister combination, and doesn’t that just sum up their history beautifully?

“You seemed surprised to see me earlier,” she says when they’re somewhat alone.

“I _am_ surprised. A little bird told me you were off exploring Southeast Asia,” he replies. He sips his champagne but keeps his eyes on her. Her expression becomes saccharine as she runs her hands over his chest.

“A little bird? You mean Maze, don’t you.” It isn’t really a question; she’s well aware that Maze is the one he turns to when he needs to track someone down. Her lips curl into an inviting smile as her fingers start to toy with the hair at the nape of his neck. It sends tingles through him, and it’s hard to remember why they ended so badly when his body responds to her touch so eagerly.

“I _missed_ you,” she tells him.

He opens his mouth—and finds he can’t say it back. She’s gorgeous and exciting and frankly dangerous. They had shared some of the best days of his life. Yet he can’t say he’s ever regretted parting from her either.

She seems to see something of these thoughts in his eyes and her expression darkens for a moment. Then she beams up at him in a reversal so fast it has his head spinning.

“I’ll just have to remind you of how good we are together,” she tells him. “None of these other women will treat you as well as I do, Luci. They don’t know you as well as I do. I’ll prove it to you.”

He can feel his forehead creasing with misgiving. “Eve, I really don’t think that’s necessary…”

But she only winks and slips away from him, clearly off to concoct some sort of plan to recapture his attention if not his heart.

It’s a complication he doesn’t need, and yet he can still feel the ghost of her fingers in his hair.

* * *

The show’s host is Marcus Pierce, and Lucifer thinks he’s never met a man with a more punchable face. He’s a cold bastard too. Oh, he’s friendly enough when the cameras are rolling and he’s charming with the ladies in a sort of baffled caveman kind of way, but when it comes to the production and management of the show and crew it’s a different story. He becomes granite then, cool and unforgiving. And he seems to like Lucifer about as much as Lucifer likes him.

But the show must go on, as the saying goes, so Lucifer is all politeness when Pierce steps into the room holding a silver tray with a single, long stemmed rose. He’s very proud of himself for not making any witty commentary as Pierce explains that the rose is for the woman that made the best impression on Lucifer.

“Here we go,” Charlotte mutters. She’s sitting beside him on a divan. She’d been delightfully forward in separating him from the group, but there's an undisguised hint of venom in her voice now as the other women begin to gasp and whisper. “Nothing like a rose to kick the drama off.”

Lucifer hums, noncommittal. He’s watching as the Brittanys and a woman named Candy start eagerly talking about how much they want the First Impression rose. Candy is as sweet as her name, and far less ditzy than her excited outbursts would suggest. He likes her, and when she catches him looking at her she winks at him. He answers with a delighted smile and a half-shrug. They’ll just have to wait and see who gets that rose, won’t they?

The power of his position is probably going to his head. He’s giddy with it, even if this whole thing is rather a sham. He's never suffered from a lack of self-confidence and he certainly isn’t in danger of coming down with a sudden case of humility now.

Ella comes over to the divan with a determined glint in her eyes. She may be tiny, but she doesn’t let Charlotte’s blisteringly hostile glare keep her from grasping Lucifer’s hand and pulling him to his feet.

“Let’s talk,” she says, and he follows along willingly enough. When they’re tucked into a corner, she gives him a huge, friendly smile.

“You looked like you could use a rescue. So here I am! Rescuing you.”

“Lucky me, I’ve my own guardian angel. It was Ella, wasn’t it?”

“That’s right! And I know this is a bonkers way to meet someone but I just want you to know that we’re going to have so much fun,” Ella says, bouncing a little and chewing on her lower lip in her excitement. “And you seem like a guy that likes to have fun.”

“Oh, I can assure you that I do, Miss Lopez. I very much do,” he replies, glancing over her.

“That’s _awesome_.”

“So tell me, lovely Ella...why are you here?”

He surprises himself by truly being intrigued as she explains that she just wanted a new experience and how she’d applied for the show on a complete whim. She’s entertaining and he thinks he’ll enjoy her company—but it will have to come down to Mazikeen and the Detective.

Of course, he won’t have total control. The producers will want him to keep certain girls on the show just to make sure there’s plenty of drama. He isn’t too interested in that, but it does limit the amount of time he has to discover which of these ladies—if it _is_ one of the ladies—is threatening him.

So far Suki is the only woman that has made him downright uncomfortable, but there’s a redhead named Lily that seems pretty calculating. He’ll need to tip off the Detective about them at some point, but the night is slipping away quickly and he needs an excuse to be alone with her again.

Then his eyes land on the rose Pierce had dropped off. It’s as good a reason as any, and she _had_ made rather an impression on him…

“Would you mind excusing me for a moment, Miss Lopez?” he asks.

“Oh sure, no problem. You're the man of the hour after all, I can’t hog you to myself for too long.”

“There will be other opportunities, I can assure you,” he replies with a wink. Then he moves to the center of the room, plucks up the rose and goes in search of the beguiling detective.

He finds her sitting on one of a ring of couches, drinking champagne and laughing with Linda, Mazikeen and Eve.

“I mean, the Brittanys all have obvious daddy issues,” Linda is saying, “but Candy is interesting. Hidden depths, I’d say. Lily’s ambitions are destructive. Oh, and Eve—you’re _clearly_ codependent.”

“What about me?” Maze asks her, her eyes flashing with a familiar challenge. Linda observes her for a moment and then announces, “Abandonment issues!” and waves her glass in a triumphant flourish. Maze goes all disgusted and Lucifer hides a grin behind a sip of champagne. Linda’s little party trick is certainly interesting…and perhaps useful. He’ll have to keep her around for a while as well.

“Excuse me, ladies...Detective, might I steal you away for a private chat?” he asks, and all four of the women turn to look at him. Then they all look down at the rose in his hand.

“Uh, sure,” the Detective replies, adorably flustered, and he offers his hand to help her to her feet. He keeps her hand in his as he draws her back out into the gardens. There’s a fountain in the middle of a brick courtyard and they sit there.

“I’d like you to have this, if you’ll do me the honor of accepting,” he says, holding out the flower. She takes it and he makes sure their fingers brush just because he enjoys teasing her already.

“Of course. Thank you,” she says.

“I hope you know I find you very intriguing, Detective. I’m determined to find out more.”

She smiles and ducks her head, beautifully shy for the cameras, and he reaches out to tuck her hair behind her ear.

“Well, I find you intriguing too, so that sounds perfect,” she replies, and he almost believes she means it and isn’t just acting. When he holds out his arms, she slides into them like a dream and it takes him a second to remember that he’d wanted her close so he could tell her about his suspicions.

“Three women are settling off my spidey-sense, Detective,” he whispers into her ear.

“I’m listening,” she says, all traces of shyness erased.

“Suki Price, Lily Leighton and…” He hesitates, then steels his nerves and adds, “Eve Dehortus.”

“Alright, I’ll have my team check them out. Thank you, Lucifer.” She squeezes his hand.

“Of course, Detective,” he says a little louder as he sits back. He can feel a mischievous grin stretching his mouth wide. “I look forward to our...journey of discovery.”

He catches the genuine flash of amusement in her eyes and grins even wider when she says, “You know, I do too.”

* * *

“Right,” he says when he’s back inside. He claps his hands together and then rubs them in anticipation. “Let’s turn this into a real party, shall we? Maze—we need music. I’ll see if there’s anything decent to drink in this place.”

As the women erupt into cheers and start moving furniture to create a dance floor, he fills his arms with more champagne bottles (honestly, would it have killed them to have some whiskey?). Once he’s deposited most of the then onto an abandoned couch, he shakes up one bottle and pops it with practiced ease, shooting foamy alcohol all over the women just as Maze cuts the music on.

In a flash, the staid little cocktail party they had been attending has become a much livelier dance party, and he dives into the center of it all, enjoying the way everyone presses close to him to dance. Hands are reaching out to run over his body from every direction, which is exactly how he likes it. He strips out of his jacket and tosses it—somewhere. Then he grabs one of the nearest ladies (the Francophile Celia, if he remembers right) and pulls her in close while another woman presses against his back. Soon the entire room is little more than a mass of moving bodies while bottles of champagne get passed from person to person.

Celia disappears and it’s Ella in his arms, and she’s _very_ enthusiastic, biting her lip and rolling her body against his, and then she’s gone and it’s Linda. Linda isn’t as practiced at this sort of dancing as some of the others, but she does seem to enjoy tracing her hands over his chest and abs and he’s certainly got no complaints about that.

Charlotte grinds herself against him with the same single-minded drive that she does everything with, only to be replaced by all three Brittanys. Somewhere in there someone grabs him through his pants—a flash of Eve’s mischievous dark eyes solves that mystery, but she’s lost in the crowd again almost immediately. And after that everyone is spinning and dancing so hard that he’s not sure who is who anymore. Does it matter? Everyone is having fun and feeling good and this is exactly the kind of atmosphere Lucifer thrives in.

Until the music is abruptly cut off. Everyone looks up in the sudden silence, only to find Pierce standing next to a table with a tray of roses.

“You’re welcome to join in, Mr Pierce. After all, I’m sure you’re tired of chaperoning,” Lucifer calls to him. Other than mustering a bland smile, Pierce ignores the invitation.

“It’s just about time, everyone,” he says. “Lucifer, would you like to come with me to the deliberation room?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are a couple familiar faces from the show amongst the ladies. The Britannys are obvious, but Luci’s stalker Suki Price is from Season 2 Episode 11 And Lily Leighton (surname of the actress, not the character) appeared in Season 2 Episode 4. Stewardess Jana (S2E11) is around in there somewhere, too. Just some little Easter eggs amongst the candidates to make things fun!


	3. This Isn't Going to End Well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chloe leans forward and tries a friendly smile.
> 
> “You know Lucifer too?”
> 
> “Oh, they know each other all right. Like...biblically.” Maze’s grin is razor-sharp and her eyes glitter as she makes a lewd gesture with her hands and starts mimicking passionate moans. Eve’s eyes narrow in displeasure.
> 
> “Jealous, Maze?” she snaps.
> 
> “Oh yeah, but not of you. Lucky bastard never did learn to share.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't think I can keep this pace up, but I got another chapter done so I thought I'd share it!
> 
> No beta, so all mistakes are mine!

Chloe slips out of the mansion’s common rooms by pretending she’s off to film one of her private testimonials. Then she meets up with Dan and follows him through the garden and down a small hill to an apartment sized outbuilding. Normally it’s used by the groundskeepers but the LAPD has taken over and made it a command center.

The damn heels nearly kill her on the way down the hill and she’s limping slightly when she enters the command center. Instantly all eyes are on her. Dan’s been joined by a tech to make sure the comms and cameras work smoothly, but Pierce, Lucifer and another man are seated around the table as well.

“Detective Decker?” the stranger asks.

“That’s right.” Chloe’s smile is polite and curious, but his is unexpectedly warm. So is his handshake when he says, “I’m Lucifer’s brother, Amenadiel. I’m here to help out.”

“Are you quite alright, Detective? You weren’t limping the last time I saw you,” Lucifer cuts in, and Chloe’s surprised he noticed.

“I’m fine. These heels weren’t designed for nature hikes, that’s all.” She sits down and looks to Dan. “We’d better make this quick before they miss us up at the main house.”

“Right. We’re checking into the three women you named, but I think we should consider a mic, Chloe. Maybe not all the time, but at least when you’re alone with the other women in the house. Possibly a camera as well,” Dan says.

“You know, I _did_ have you pegged as a voyeur. Glad to see I haven’t lost my touch,” Lucifer comments lightly. Dan shoots him a withering look which has precisely zero effect on the club owner.

“There are already cameras all over the mansion. Plus Mazikeen is a plant and Lucifer and I are in on the operation. How much more visibility could you need?” Pierce asks. “I mean, these girls should have a little privacy, reality show or not.”

Dan lifts his hands and backs off. “Alright, no to the camera. But I’m not budging about the mic.”

“I’ll take an earpiece,” Chloe says.

“Good. Lucifer: we want you to keep Charlotte Richards, Suki Price, Lily Leighton, Ella Lopez and Eve Dehortus. You can eliminate Elizabeth Murray, Celia Bohen, all three Brittanys and Linda Martin if you want to. Anyone else you eliminate, we’ll grab and interview. Sound good?”

“Message received, ten-four, over-and-out.” Lucifer mimes a salute and Dan glares at him.

“You mind taking this seriously? It’s not just your ass on the line, you know.”

“I can assure you that I’m taking this situation _extremely_ seriously, detective.” Lucifer tugs the lapels of his jacket straight and sits up, chin high. “And I shall do exactly as you instruct me to, at least for the rose ceremony.”

“Good,” Dan says, satisfied. He’s just turning to the whiteboards to update the info on them when Lucifer adds, “But I won’t be dumping Dr Linda just yet. She’s far too fascinating to leave.”

Dan wants to argue, Chloe can see it in his face. He debates with himself and then rolls his eyes and says, “Fine, have it your way, but make sure to keep those other women too.”

“Right, now that that’s settled, we better get back up there. Earpiece?” Chloe holds out her hand and Dan places one in her palm. He takes the opportunity to lean in closer and murmur, “Want me to walk you back up?”

“No need,” Lucifer cuts in smoothly. “The Detective and I will manage very well for ourselves.” He tucks her arm through his own and offers her a charming smile, then tilts his head toward the door. “Shall we?”

“Are you just doing this to mess with Dan?” she asks. He only smiles wider as he rests a light hand against the small of her back and whisks her out of the room.

* * *

“He’s your ex, isn’t he?” Lucifer asks. Chloe is so busy watching her feet as they climb up the hill that she isn’t expecting the question, and she hesitates before answering.

“Yes. Why?” Her eyes narrow at him.

“No need to be so suspicious, Detective. He mentioned it while we were waiting for you, is all,” he soothes. He pats the hand that she’s tucked into his elbow for balance. “I only ask because he seems rather keen.”

That makes her frown. Dan had been the one to ask for the divorce. It isn’t fair of him to be ‘keen’ or whatever now.

“Well...I don’t see how it’s relevant,” she says flatly.

“Won’t it be hard for him, watching me woo you?”

“I only need to be on the show long enough to catch our bad guy. When I take them down, you can vote me out.”

Lucifer frowns down at her. “And you’re looking forward to that?”

“ _Yes._ Of course I am. When that happens everyone will be safe and I can leave all this insanity behind.”

“And here I thought we were having such fun. Detective, I—”

“Enough. We’re almost back.” Pierce motions for Lucifer to follow him to the _actual_ deliberation room. Chloe slips back into the mansion from a different set of doors and rejoins the ladies just before the first rose ceremony begins.

As she stands with the other ladies waiting to find out who is staying, she finds herself genuinely surprised by how many women are already devastated by the thought of leaving. Only fifteen of them—well, fourteen now that Chloe already has a rose—will be chosen tonight. Maze seems to take great joy in the general discomfort, especially when Lucifer calls her name and several of the women groan in disappointment. She slips through their ranks and plucks the rose from his hand, then walks off to stand with the other recipients.

“You’re meant to wait until I ask you to accept the rose, Maze,” he calls after her. She grins and bites her tongue—and Chloe is pretty sure she flips him a quick bird, too—while he shakes his head and mutters “ _Un_ believable,” under his breath.

While most of the women he chooses are content to kiss his cheek, Suki screams when he says her name and then tries to stick her tongue down his throat. Chloe watches him search for a way to play off the uncomfortable moment, grinning behind her hand as he fumbles for words and sends her off to stand with the others after awkwardly patting the top of her head.

Linda, Ella, Lily, Eve, and Charlotte soon join Chloe, Maze and Suki as rose recipients. The Brittanys join them as well, giggling and shooting Lucifer seductive smiles whenever he glances over. Judith, Karma, Candy and Jana round out the final fifteen, and Marcus addresses them all.

“Ladies, if you haven’t received a rose, please take a moment to say your goodbyes.”

Maze holds up a single hand when one of the roseless women—Aspen—goes in for a hug.

“I’d really rethink that if you’re a fan of keeping all your fingers,” she says, and Aspen switches her attention to Ella without another word. Chloe plants herself at Maze’s side—it seems to be the best way to avoid all the other farewell hugs.

Before long, the ten dismissed girls take their leave and she spots Dan waiting outside through the glass doors, ready to interview them. It’s a nice break from the norm for him: ten beautiful women in evening dress is a far cry from the usual jilted spouses or drug dealers. Then her thoughts are broken when suddenly Linda and Ella are hugging her in their jubilation that they’ve all been selected.

It _is_ a heady feeling, to be in a mansion and wearing a satin gown instead of in a bullpen wearing a suit jacket. The drinks are plentiful and the remaining women are so happy that for a moment, Chloe lets herself just enjoy the atmosphere. But only for a moment.

“Mr Pierce informs me that it’s customary for the bachelor to make a toast now that the rose ceremony is over,” Lucifer says as a waiter comes by to refresh everyone’s drinks. She takes a glass of champagne to join the toast. Lucifer raises his own and beams at all of the remaining women.

“Now, normally I love the sound of my own voice, but tonight all I have to say is this: let the games begin!”

The women burst into cheers and down their drinks, but Chloe only takes one sip before setting her glass aside. When the crew is done getting the celebratory shots they need for the first episode, she makes her way over to a couch and sits down. She’s looking forward to finding her bedroom and taking care of her aching ankle. In the meantime, she watches the film crew, wondering if one of them is the one plotting a murder.

Suddenly Lucifer fills her field of vision. Without a word, he drops to a knee before her and lifts her foot, resting it on his bent leg. She watches, stunned, as he handles her with such care. It’s like he’s afraid he might break her if he’s not gentle.

“What are you—?” she starts, but he moves the gown out of his way and presses an ice pack to her ankle.

“We must keep you in good health, Detective,” he says softly. His fingers linger on her skin for just a moment as their eyes lock. Tingles radiate through her even from this innocent contact and her stomach swoops with unexpected—and unwelcome—arousal.

“It’s nothing, really,” she tries to tell him, but he only tuts at her and drops his gaze to her injured limb.

“Not swollen too badly, but perhaps you’d better retire early.”

“Lucifer, honestly: I’m fine. Besides, I think we’re all about to be bundled off to bed.”

“You’re not used to someone looking after you, are you Detective?” he asks, and though he’s smiling there’s a hint of growing tenderness in his eyes that makes it hard for her to hold his gaze—so she doesn’t. She looks down at her dress instead.

“I’m pretty good at taking care of myself,” she replies, her tone a touch more defensive than she would have liked. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees his lips quirk a little.

“I never doubted it for a moment. In point of fact, I’m envious—Amenadiel nags like a particularly disapproving parent.” He pauses and then adds, “But please allow me the novelty of reassuring us both that no real harm has been done, Detective.”

She hesitates, heart hammering...and then relents with a nod. His smile is different this time: it’s softer, more intimate. Then he gently lowers her foot back to the floor. Just as he’s opening his mouth to say something, Eve takes his arm and pulls him away. He gives her a quick, apologetic shrug before he’s gone.

“This isn’t going to end well,” Chloe mutters to herself. She feels all the hostile glances being shot her way and knows the other women are not going to warm up to her after Lucifer’s open favor. After one sharp intake of breath, she decides to fortify herself for the rest of the night by downing the glass of champagne she’d set aside a few minutes ago. Bad ending or not, at least there’s alcohol.

* * *

Once Marcus has shuffled Lucifer out of the house, the girls are left to themselves...and the camera crew. Everyone has draped themselves on couches or pillows as the manic energy from earlier ebbs into something a little calmer. Chloe finds herself seated with Ella on one side and Maze on the other, all three of them sharing one of the huge couch in the mansion’s den. She’s pleasantly surprised by how quickly she’s grown comfortable with Ella and Linda in particular. There must be some reason Dan told Lucifer to keep Ella around, but Chloe has a hard time picturing her hurting anyone. And Linda wouldn’t hurt a fly, Chloe’s willing to bet her badge on that.

“Can you believe how hot Lucifer is?” one of the Brittanys asks when they’re all settled. Excited squeals erupt from most of the room—including Eve, one of the girls Lucifer had named.

“If you think he’s hot in a suit, wait until you see him out of it,” she tells the room. As Ella pretends to swoon beside her, Chloe leans forward and tries a friendly smile.

“You know Lucifer too?”

“Oh, they know each other all right. Like... _biblically._ ” Maze’s grin is razor-sharp and her eyes glitter as she makes a lewd gesture with her hands and starts mimicking passionate moans. Eve’s eyes narrow in displeasure.

“Jealous, Maze?” she snaps.

“Oh yeah, but not of you. Lucky bastard never did learn to share.”

That clams Eve up, but the look she shoots Maze next isn’t disgusted...it’s suspicious and, if Chloe isn’t mistaken, a little intrigued.

“Oh my god, you guys,” Karma calls from her perch on the far side of the couch ring. “That’s kinky. Would you share him?”

“Yes,” Maze says at exactly the same time Eve says, “Maybe. Just in bed though.”

“This all sounds super healthy,” Linda comments.

“Really?” Chloe asks, turning to her. The doctor gives an incredulous shake of her head and says: “ _No!”_

“Maybe not, but I’m digging all this juicy gossip!” Ella exclaims. “How do you know him, Eve?”

“We dated. For a _while._ But then I did something stupid. I thought I was made for this other guy but it turns out...he thought of me as a piece of him, and I’m my own person. By the time I figured it out, Lucifer was long gone. So I’m here to try and win him back,” Eve replies. Something hard and cold flashes in her eyes. “And no one here is going to take him from me.”

 _No wonder Lucifer’s spidey-senses kicked in,_ Chloe thinks.

“Oh, I definitely plan on taking him from you,” Charlotte says. “You had your turn after all, and cute as your psycho pixie act is, I think he’s ready for someone else to take charge.”

“Psycho pixie?” Eve’s head snaps around, her eyes wide with malice. “Sounds more appealing than a desperate wanna-be milf having a midlife crisis.”

This is escalating way too fast. Chloe leans forward and spreads her arms, trying to stop them both. “Okay, why don’t we just take a minute to—”

“Snarky little bitch,” Charlotte snarls at Eve.

“Washed-up hag,” Maze throws in, just to stir the pot. She’s clearly enjoying this.

“And it’s easy for _her_ to take the high road,” Jana says, gesturing to Chloe. “The rest of us barely got to talk to him.”

Suddenly two-thirds of the room is against her, and Chloe knows she’s going to have to do some damage control here if she’s ever going to get any of these women to open up to her. But what can she say? Lucifer _had_ sought her out—not for the reasons they thought, but she can’t exactly explain that part. This is a competition and they’re all sure she’s winning, so it’s no wonder everyone’s ready to tape a target to her back.

“Who are you?” Eve asks. She has doe’s eyes, large and beautiful, but they’re full of trepidation.

“No one special. I’m a detective—I mean, I’m on a leave of absence right now so I can be on the show, but usually I’m a detective.”

Eve’s eyes snap to Maze, but the other woman only lifts a shoulder.

“Your guess is as good as mine,” she says to Eve. “He isn’t usually into the goody two-shoes type.”

“I am _not_ a goody two-shoes,” Chloe snaps, and Maze barks a laugh.

“Sure you’re not."

Ella hops off of the couch and bounces into the center of the room.

“The energy in here is getting a little hostile, so...maybe we should take a breath and do something fun. Lighten the mood, you know?” Her smile is a sunbeam and she uses it to full effect against the rest of the room. “I vote for a dance off! Candy works in Vegas, maybe she can show us some sexy moves.”

“I’m a lounge singer,” Candy protests, but Ella shrugs that off.

“Sure, but I bet after being in Sin City for so long you’ve learned a thing or two.”

“Well…” Candy’s smile is reluctant but gaining in enthusiasm as she warms to the idea. “Just a couple things.”

The next thing Chloe knows, all of the other women in the room are on their feet, trying to mimic Candy as she shows them sexy struts or fun dance moves, and before long everyone is flipping their hair or shaking their asses like they’re in a club instead of a den.

Linda, Charlotte, Ella and Mazikeen have formed a mini group, and Maze seems to be showing them how to turn a strip dance into an opportunity for violence.

Candy, Karma, Judith, Lily, Jana and the Brittanys are all bending over and then rolling their bodies up to full height seductively.

But Suki and Eve aren’t dancing. The air between them practically crackles as they stare at each other.

“I’ve seen you with him,” Suki says, low and dark, “and you’re not good together. He deserves better.”

“I’m exactly what he deserves.” Eve’s pretty face is drawn and her eyes are fiery. “He doesn’t have to hold back when he’s with me. Whatever he wants, I’m with him. I _accept_ him—totally and completely. And I’ll do whatever it takes to win him back.”

“Acceptance _is_ important, but so are healthy limits. And...you know…boundaries,” Linda ventures, but Eve ignores her.

“You can try to get in my way, but that last rose is _mine_. We love each other and we belong together.” She runs her gaze over the remaining women, stopping on Chloe last. “He might be confused right now, but not for long.”

Then she turns and leaves the room, heading upstairs.

“Well...party’s over, I guess,” Candy says.

“Yeah…” Chloe makes a mental note to get Eve on her own in the morning. “Let’s all get to bed. We’ve had a long day and this is all just starting.”

The girls murmur their ascent with the exception of Mazikeen, who goes prowling off to the kitchen to look for more alcohol. Chloe is tempted to join her—it’s been a long day after all—but decides against it. She needs to rest her ankle and get some sleep. She has a feeling tomorrow is going to be a Hell of a day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your time! I'll try to keep this coming relatively quickly but I can't promise every couple of days. Updating at least once a week is my goal though!


	4. I'm Watching You, Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s a tense moment as Daniel stares across the table at him. Lucifer waits him out. If there’s a bee in Daniel’s bonnet, he’s certainly willing to hear him out—but he isn’t going to ask. He has absolutely no interest in Daniel’s private life. He barely has an interest in his professional one.
> 
> “Look. I know you’ve got to...to put the moves on Chloe every once in a while so people don’t get suspicious. But I’m watching you, man. You lay one finger out of line, and I’ll—”
> 
> “You’ll what, detective?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for being patient with me while I worked through this chapter. I knew what needed to happen to move the story forward but I had a hell of a time getting through it for some reason. You guys are amazing and thank you for your time!

“Let’s get this over with, shall we? No offense Daniel, but yours isn’t the face I want to see first thing in the morning,” Lucifer says as he takes a seat across from the detective. He’s wearing nothing but a silk robe and boxer briefs, much to Dan’s obvious discomfort. He enjoys Dan’s obvious discomfort. Some people are just fun to needle.

He can’t imagine Chloe with a man like Dan. She has such vivacity...she’s truly incredible. And Dan is...well. Not.

But he can appreciate that the man has a job to do, and Lucifer has no qualms with helping. So long as it’s not too inconvenient. Hence this meeting first thing in the morning. They’re in the dining room of the house that the show provided for Lucifer for the principal filming, but for now the cameras are off. They can speak privately, at least for a few moments.

Dan leans forward on the table and steeples his fingers. “We’re still running backgrounds on a few of the girls that left last night, but we need you to go on a one-on-one date with Charlotte Richards. She’s a defense lawyer. See what you can find out about her past, her clients, anything that might be pertinent to the case.”

“Fine, fine.” Lucifer sits back in his chair and breathes in the scent of percolating coffee. “But there are two one-on-ones and a group date this week. Any other requests, or am I free to conduct the business as I please?”

“Chloe should be on the group date. It’ll give her a chance to observe the others you pick in a more intimate setting. A working theory is that one of the women is jealous enough to try and take out the competition. She can keep an eye out for that.”

“That won’t be a problem.” 

“Great,” Dan says.

“Great,” Lucifer agrees.

There’s a tense moment as Daniel stares across the table at him. Lucifer waits him out. If there’s a bee in Daniel’s bonnet, he’s certainly willing to hear him out—but he isn’t going to ask. He has absolutely no interest in Daniel’s private life. He barely has an interest in his professional one.

“Look. I know you’ve got to...to put the moves on Chloe every once in a while so people don’t get suspicious. But I’m watching you, man. You lay one finger out of line, and I’ll—”

“You’ll what, detective?” Lucifer’s tone is calm—a controlled burn rather than a wildfire, but the threat remains. “Forgive me, but it seems to me that the Detective is more than capable of communicating what is and isn’t acceptable to her. And I happen to be a firm believer that nothing is sexier than consent.”

“Fine. Just remember that I’m the one with the gun and badge. If I even think you’re taking advantage, I’ll arrest you so fast your head won’t stop spinning until sentencing.”

“Message received. And now if you’ll excuse me, my coffee is done and I’d prefer you to be far away whilst I enjoy it.” Lucifer waves a dismissive hand like he’s shooing away an annoying child. Dan’s expression turns poisonous at the disrespect but he leaves at last.

What an insufferable ass. Well, no matter. Jealous exes can’t get him down today—he’s got to get ready for a date.

* * *

Once he’s had his coffee—lovely, restorative stuff—and dressed for the day, Lucifer sits down to consider which of the women he’d like to take on the second of the one-on-one dates, and which he’d like to go on the group date. There are fifteen women left in the Bachelor mansion, but only ten of them will make it on dates: eight on the group date, and one each for the more traditional dates. Then there will be another cocktail party before he’ll select the twelve ladies that will continue on to the following week.

He doubts any of these ladies, lovely as they are, really want to be with him. Which is perfectly alright, he isn’t looking to give his heart away either. “Plenty of me to go round,” has always been his attitude when it comes to romance. Suki Price and Eve are the only ones in danger of real heartbreak—heartbreak which is unfortunately inevitable as far as he’s concerned. Eve has never appealed to his better angels, and Suki’s careful surveillance is less flattering than he might have expected it to be.

But the others? A shot at being a minor celebrity, of going on lavish dates and wearing beautiful clothes, of living in a mansion and potentially catching the eye of a rich man? Those are probably reason enough for them to come on the show. No hearts to break there, so why not have a bit of fun?

It’s only Chloe’s incandescent blue eyes that keep the whole situation from being a total joke. He remembers the way they’d gone wide when he’d applied an ice pack to her hurt ankle, how they’d narrowed when he’d mentioned _Hot Tub High School._ How they’d sparked whenever his lips got anywhere near her skin. They’d probably go positively molten if he were to _really_ kiss her, and imagining that very scenario sends shockwaves of arousal through him.

Too bad she’s the only one that’s _definitely_ not here for him.

Devil’s own luck, he supposes, to meet the most fascinating woman he’s come across in years, only for her to be an undercover cop with her mind on things other than romance.

But perhaps there’s a chance. Daniel was right about one thing: the longer she has to stay on the show, the more intimate they’ll have to become. Perhaps he can capture her interest after all. And apprehending an attempted murderer together would be a pretty memorable start to a relationship—it would be a story for the grandkids. Not _his_ , obviously, but Amenadiel’s maybe. The story of how Great Uncle Luci and Great Aunt Chloe met.

“Oh get a hold of yourself, man!” he scolds himself once he’s realized where his latest flight of fancy has led him. “You’re starting to sound like Suki Price.” And that was a hellish thought indeed.

* * *

He shows up to the Bachelor mansion just as the sun is going down. His first one-on-one date is tonight and he’s decided to take Candy. The dates that the show put on are elaborate things, so they’ll be flying up to San Francisco for dinner and a private concert at the Masonic.

It should be an enjoyable evening, starting with a drink with all of the ladies.

Ella and Eve are the ones that race to answer his knock, and they both wear huge grins at the sight of him on the doorstep. How could he do anything but beam back at them? It’s quite an infectious greeting.

“ _Hel_ lo ladies,” he says, dragging out that first syllable.

“Lucifer, hi! We were just about to start a horror movie marathon. You should join in,” Ella says, taking his hand to tug him into the mansion. “It’s all the old greats, you know? _Creature from the Black Lagoon, Nosferatu,_ that kinda thing. Maze threatened us all with bodily harm if we picked any rom-coms.”

“Don’t listen to her. I happen to know she’s a fan of _The Proposal,”_ Lucifer replies with a devilish grin. Ella’s own smile is equally mischievous as she taps the side of her nose. Maze is going to kill him later, but in the meantime he’s going to enjoy the thought of her being made to watch something other than a slasher flick.

“So you’ll join us?” Eve asks, bouncing up and down. Her long hair flies around her as she does and the smell of her shampoo takes him back...so he removes his arm from her grip, gently but firmly, and straightens his sleeve.

“I’m afraid not. I came to have a drink with you and then steal Candy away.”

Eve pouts like a thwarted child and latches onto his arm. “You’re taking her on a one-on-one date?”

“I am,” he replies. He peels her hands off of his arm again. “Listen, Eve—”

“Luciferrr!” The three Brittanys are giggling and waving at him, and one of them curls her finger in a ‘come-hither’ gesture he sees no reason to ignore. He strides over to them with his most flirtatious smile, but Eve stays hot on his tail. One of the Brittanys lifts a glass to his lips—it’s some horrible tropical concoction that doesn’t have nearly enough rum in it to make up for the frills—and out of the corner of his eye he sees Eve share the same drink with another Brittany.

Interesting tactic.

When Brittany tries to share her drink with him again he refuses. He finds Linda in the crowd and goes to her side instead. A hand at the small of her back and a gesture to a more private room is all it takes to get her alone. Inexplicably, he finds her presence calming; he wants to confide in her, which is not something he can say about most people.

“Doctor,” he says as they sit across from one another in a couple of loveseats. “It’s lovely to get you alone.”

“Are you always so formal?” she asks. There’s a smile lurking near the corners of her lips but she doesn’t quite let it bloom. “Shouldn’t you call me Linda?”

“And disparage all your hard work in achieving your PhD? I wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Is that what it is? Or do you use nicknames or exaggerated formality as a way to keep control over a social situation? For instance, you calling me by my title is an indication that you intend for me to take charge of the relat—dammit. I’m doing it again, aren’t I?”

Lucifer hums jovially. “If you mean are you turning our tête-à-tête into a therapy session, then...yes, you are. Oh, but I don’t mind, Doctor. It’s fascinating, listening to you dissect my innermost machinations.”

“Well...as long as it’s fascinating,” Linda replies, flushing slightly.

“May I ask you something, Doctor?”

“Oh!” She sits up in her loveseat and adjusts her glasses, and Lucifer gives her a slow, expectant smile. “Sure. Fire away.”

“Why did you audition?”

“I came to—that is I—I...To meet you, of course.” She’s flustered, he can tell by the way her hands flutter over her lap before smoothing down her sensible skirt. Good. He likes when people are flustered. It makes them more likely to blurt out the truth.

And there were no...other reasons?” He arches an eyebrow. “Come now, you can tell me. I’ll keep it to myself.”

“I want to write a paper,” she bursts out. “Maybe two, since you’re so...well. You. But these circumstances make people act in such interesting ways, and I thought I could write a very good paper about the psychological stresses of being put in this situation…” She trails off. “I wanted to see for myself what it would be like. But I also really did want to meet you.”

“And you’d say you’re good at your job? Observant? Able to suss out what emotional triggers or trauma may drive a person to act a certain way?”

Linda’s head tilts as she studies him, her expression quizzical and perhaps a touch apprehensive. “Yes,” she says at last, still watching him closely.

“Excellent. I may have a favor to ask you. But first I have a date to go on. Talk soon, my dear?” he asks, standing to smooth out his jacket. Linda mimics him, fiddling with the low neckline of her blouse.

“Yeah—yes. Yes. That sounds lovely,” she says.

“It really does.” He bends to kiss her cheek—and it’s a long way down because bloody hell, she’s tiny—before giving her shoulder a squeeze and slipping out of the door.

* * *

The first one-on-one date is fine. Candy is good company; cheerful, sassy and easygoing, she makes the time fly by. The concert is fine too, but the views of San Francisco are better. He can see why Nobb Hill is such an expensive area. But as lovely as Candy is, she doesn’t really capture his imagination.

His second one-on-one date should be much more...volatile. After all, it will just be him and Charlotte Richards.

Well, not just. Daniel will be surveilling them.

They take a helicopter to Catalina Island. Daniel is already there. He’d had to take the ferry so he’d left a few hours ago. Lucifer is certain he and Charlotte have a much more pleasant—and quicker—journey than the detective. Maybe a better person would feel slightly bad about that...but Lucifer’s never claimed to be nice. Nice is so... _boring._

Once they’ve reached their destination, they’re whisked from the airport near the top of the island to the small city of Avalon. The date starts with a couples massage.

Lucifer is a fan of body oils. They facilitate all kinds of exciting activities. And he’s certainly never shied away from slipping out of his clothes. In moments, he’s settling onto a massage table. Charlotte joins him, stretching out on the table beside his, and she lets out a contented sigh as her masseuse gets to work.

“I needed this,” she says.

“Yes, amazing what a pair of skillful hands can accomplish, isn’t it?” Lucifer replies with a smirk.

“Do _you_ have skillful hands, Mr Morningstar?”

He chuckles appreciatively at her forwardness. “I’ve yet to hear any complaints.”

But even as they flirt, he finds that his heart isn’t in it. It’s more of a knee-jerk response. He can do this sort of innuendo-laced teasing for days without running out of material, but there’s no spark here to keep his interest or make the conversation exciting. Still, there’s something about Charlotte’s ruthless bravery that he likes.

He doesn’t spot Daniel until they leave the spa and head through the streets of Avalon. The walk along the water is lovely, and the city itself curves around the natural bay. Their next destination is a handsome casino which is almost surrounded by the clear blue waters the island is known for. Daniel is trailing after them, enjoying an ice cream cone and trying to look as though he’s window shopping. He is—no surprises here—appalling at it. Someone really should teach the man how to appreciate fashion before he gets buried in one of those perfectly pedestrian Henleys he likes so much.

But Lucifer pretends not to notice him and Charlotte seems completely unaware of his existence. A few moments later, they enter the casino. It’s a little older but still lovely inside, and the lure of a few games of chance is hard to ignore.

“Mmm.” Charlotte’s looking around with a very satisfied smile. “Blackjack to start, I think.”

“Whatever you desire, darling.” He follows her to a table and hands over a stack of cash for chips. Charlotte’s eyes widen as a stacks of black, orange and green chips are pushed toward her.

“All for me?”

“I do want you to enjoy yourself. And it’s only money.”

Charlotte’s eyes are alight with the promise of a pleasurable return on his investment, and while he’d normally be enjoying visions of what form that return might take, he’s too busy watching Daniel try to look inconspicuous.

He may as well be wearing a sign that announces his association with law enforcement. Lucifer tsks under his breath and turns his attention to the table.

Charlotte is remarkably good at burning through cash, he soon realizes. It would be alarming if the point weren’t for her to have a good time, and as she appears to be enjoying herself he doesn’t quibble. Once she’s had a couple of drinks and has won a round or two of blackjack, he begins to delicately probe into the subject of her clients. She’s a lawyer, one that works with powerful cartels and mobsters. There’s a small chance that their bad guy is among her clientele...a _very_ small chance, in Lucifer’s opinion, but it’s the only lead the LAPD seems to have, so he does what he can to learn more.

“Excuse me for a moment,” she says to him after a couple of hours at the gambling tables. “I need to freshen up.”

Lucifer agrees, smiling through his frustration. She hasn’t given him much information and even less is in any way useful, but the cameras are rolling and they’re clearly both feeling the need to be cautious.

He’s just about to wander toward the craps tables when he spots Charlotte again. Far from being on her way to or from the ladies’ room, she’s instead latched herself onto Daniel—and she appears to be grilling him for all he’s worth.

“Well, fuck,” Lucifer mutters to himself. Then he starts toward the pair. He’d better think of a way to remedy this situation fast, or else the entire investigation could fall part at the seams.

* * *

Daniel orders the camera crew to back off. Then he orders Lucifer and Charlotte to follow him out onto one of the decks that face the ocean. Lucifer’s habit of disobedience is so ingrained that for a moment he nearly argues...but the greater good prevails.

Charlotte doesn’t wait for Daniel to open the conversation. Instead, she gets right into his face.

“Why were you following us?” she demands, poking him in the chest hard.

Daniel sighs and digs his badge out from an inside pocket of his jacket. Charlotte stares at him in shock, then turns suspicious eyes on Lucifer.

“You do realize that asking me about my clients is illegal, don’t you?” she asks Lucifer. Then she shoots a glare in Daniel’s direction. “And even if he didn’t know that, _you_ do.”

“It’s not what you think,” Lucifer tells her. He tries to keep his voice as calming as possible, though this only seems to aggravate Charlotte further. “This isn’t a sting.”

“No? Then what the hell _are_ you up to?”

“Someone is trying to shut down the show. Threats have been sent to key individuals. And one of the contestants was attacked and nearly killed. We’re just trying to find out if anyone close to the contestants has a motive.”

Lucifer doesn’t expect Daniel’s earnest act to win Charlotte over. She’s been around the block a few times and seen it all—both in the courtroom and out of it. But her expression softens as they study each other, and suddenly Lucifer finds himself experiencing the unfamiliar feeling of being a third wheel.

 _Ridiculous,_ he thinks. _As if Daniel could ever offer me serious competition for a lady’s attention._

But, somehow, he is.

“The only thing any of my clients would be interested in regarding the show would be running gambling rings to bet on the outcome. Other than that…” Charlotte lifts one shoulder.

“Right. Well. Thank you for your help. Please don’t divulge to anyone that the LAPD is conducting an investigation. I guess you can carry on with your date,” Daniel says with a heavy sigh. Charlotte tilts her head, clearly intrigued ( _by what?_ Lucifer wants to shout) as Daniel turns to go.

“That’s it?” she calls after him.

He glances over his shoulder at her. “Pretty much, yeah. We knew this angle was a long shot.”

“Well, now that I know what’s going on, can’t I help?”

“I’m sure that won’t be necessary,” Lucifer starts, but Daniel holds up a hand to silence him.

“Actually, there might be something you can help with after all…”

Suddenly the two of them are smiling at each other like naughty little co-conspirators, and Lucifer’s mouth is hanging open in shock.

Bloody hell, what _is_ this world coming to? Apparently he’s going to need a lot more whiskey before this evening is over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always forget to mention but you can find me on [Tumblr](https://lowritesthings.tumblr.com/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/lsowrites) as well!
> 
> See you again soon for chapter 5!


	5. You're Going Down, Decker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “That was a cheap move!” she says as she pushes wet hair out of her eyes.
> 
> “Did you expect me to play fair, Detective? And here I thought you were getting the measure of me,” Lucifer replies with a sinful grin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I owe everyone comment replies from the last chapter and I promise I'll try to get through those in the next day or two. It's been an absolutely insane week but I will definitely be responding to you all soon!
> 
> As always, the mistakes are all mine. Thank you for your time!

Today is pool party day, at least according to the other women. Chloe pulls out her bikini—something she hasn’t had the chance to wear since a short vacation two summers ago—and tries to calm her nerves. She’s been on camera naked for crying out loud, and she knows she has nothing to be embarrassed about. She finds ways to stay healthy. But she still hesitates, chewing on her lip as she stares at the little bundles of fabric. Her suit seems so...plain.

Well, there’s nothing for it now. She’s just gone into the bathroom to change into it when Charlotte bursts into her room.

“Decker?” Chloe can hear her searching around the room, then she pushes into the bathroom—just as Chloe is scrambling to pull her shirt back down over her bare chest.

“Wow, hi.” She tries to laugh off the rather embarrassing moment the way she imagines a normal constant would. Her performance is lost on Charlotte; the other woman shuts the door to the bathroom and lowers her voice.

“I met Detective Espinoza,” she says quietly, leaning in close. “I know about the investigation.”

_ Dammit, Dan… _ Chloe bites back a sigh. “Okay.”

“He’s asked me to help you keep an eye on the other women.”

“Alright. But listen, don’t try to interrogate them or anything. If you see anything you think is relevant, let me know and I’ll take care of it, okay? We don’t want people to start clamming up around us.”

Charlotte nods. “Yeah, I can manage that. But do you really think it’s one of us?”

Chloe frowns as Eve’s possessiveness and Suki’s obsession come to mind. “It’s a possibility,” she says.

“Right. Well, I just wanted you to know I’m on the case. And—is that what you’re wearing?” Charlotte lip curls a little at the sight of the plain black bikini draped over the towel rack.

“It’s the only one I have,” Chloe admits.

“We can do better than that. Come on.”

* * *

A half an hour later, Charlotte and Chloe join the rest of the ladies on the deck. Ella, Linda and Maze have been hard at work mixing cocktails for everyone to sip, and they’re waiting on silver trays. The pool gleams, blue and beckoning, but empty: most of the women are either still getting ready or else sunbathing.

“Damn, chica—that’s a gorgeous suit,” Ella says as she wanders over with a mimosa for Chloe. Charlotte tosses her a smug smile and then wanders off in search of a shady spot to relax. The bikini is pretty: it’s got a bohemian chic appeal with its deep blue color and tiny shell accents. It sets off her complexion well and makes her feel playfully sexy, which is not something she gets to indulge in often.

“It’s a loaner but thank you,” Chloe replies, and she laughs a little when Ella twirls her finger to indicate that she should do a spin. As she complies, she realizes that she’s...kind of having fun. More fun than she’s had since she and Dan split, that’s for sure. And she realizes something else, too: she’s looking forward to seeing Lucifer again. She’s looking forward to it a lot, if she’s honest.

But this afternoon is about relaxing and it’s a good opportunity to get to know the other women, so Chloe ignores the empty deck chairs. California’s roasting sun is enough to send her straight into the water, and she sighs happily as she perches herself on one of the lower stairs so that she’s submerged nearly to her shoulders. Maze, Ella and Linda soon follow her. Linda’s got a sun hat that could double as an umbrella and her suit is a lovely deep pink. Ella’s suit looks like it’s made of opalescent mermaid scales and she’s dusted eyelids with glitter to match. Maze’s bikini is more of a suggestion than a swimsuit, a wickedly sexy design that Chloe could never pull off in a million years.

“So, the last date this week is a group date. Do you think you’ll be on it?” Ella asks. Maze gives a careless laugh and shakes her head.

“No. But that’s okay: Lucifer knows me. I’m not worried,” she says.

“I think I’m going,” Linda says.

“Girl, of course you are! He’d be crazy not to ask you,” Ella replies. Chloe smiles and says, “Just like he’d be crazy not to ask  _ you.” _

_ “I’m  _ going,” Eve says. She drops down to sit at the edge of the pool, letting her legs dangle into the water. “At first I was nervous about being in a group, but I’ve been watching you and you guys all seem so amazing. It would be fun to go out with you.”

“Aww, Eve! That’s so cool of you!” Ella reaches up out of the water to give her a high-five, but Maze is watching Lucifer’s ex with a more careful expression. Chloe glances back and forth between the two women, but Maze won’t give away her thoughts and Eve is too busy exclaiming over the jeweled clip in Ella’s hair to notice she’s being studied.

“You know, we’re all here trying to get Lucifer’s attention, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. Only one of us is going to get that final rose but...we could hang out when this is all over,” Linda says. She’s on her second mojito and her cheeks are a touch pink, but there’s nothing but earnestness in her voice. “I could use a tribe.”

“So could I,” Chloe admits. “My schedule is usually way too nuts to make friends.”

“But we could make time for each other. Right?” Ella’s hopeful expression reminds Chloe of Trixie and her heart clenches. She misses her kid.

“That’s what tribes do,” Linda agrees.

“Well, I’m in. I hang out with a bunch of dudes and most of them end up way too obsessed with their own shit to think about me,” Maze says. She leans back and tilts her face up toward the sun, her powerful body at rest for once. “Might be nice to have some women around for a change.”

“Can I get in on this too?” Eve asks, and Chloe feels an uncharitable desire to say no—but she bites her tongue.

“In that case, it’s a pact,” Ella says. “To best girlfriends!”

It’s probably silly to think they can make it through this show and stay friends, and it’s probably even more of a pipe dream to think that they’ll somehow find ways to meet up after it, but in that moment Chloe doesn’t care. She’s in a good mood and she could use some friends. So when Ella holds her drink out and everyone clinks their own against it, she’s quick to join in.

“To best girlfriends,” they chorus—even Maze.

“Well, doesn’t that just warm the cockles of the heart?” comes a familiar voice, and they all spin to see Lucifer standing on the deck behind them. His jacket has been tossed over a patio chair and his shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His feet are bare too. He grins down at them as they all realize he’s among them, and suddenly the pool area is filled with happy exclamations of welcome.

“I thought I’d come check on you all. Though it seems as if I haven’t dressed appropriately for the occasion,” he says, gesturing to the slacks he’s still wearing.

“No problem,” says another new voice, and Marcus steps out of the mansion. He hands Lucifer a small box. “Swim trunks, in case you’d like to join the ladies.”

“You could join us too,” Ella calls to him. Marcus smirks at her and for a second, he looks tempted. His eyes meet Chloe’s...but then he shakes his head.

“Maybe another time. Why don’t you go get changed, Lucifer? I’ll keep the ladies company until you get back.”

Lucifer disappears back inside and Marcus motions for all the women to gather around. Once everyone is near, he holds up an envelope.

“This has the list of women going on tomorrow night’s group date. There’s going to be a rose on this date, meaning that whichever one of you gets it, you’ll be safe in the next rose ceremony. Only eight of you are going on this date. But you’ll all get a chance to talk with Lucifer today as well as during the pre-rose ceremony cocktail party, so make sure if you haven’t been on a date this week you make the most of these opportunities. Everyone understand?”

Fifteen heads nod and Marcus smiles at them. “Good. I’ll leave you all to your fun. Have a good evening, ladies,” he says.

“Wow. I mean I know we’re here for Lucifer but the  _ arms _ on that guy, amiright?” Ella says, and Candy wolf-whistles in agreement. The girls are still giggling over Marcus’ physical attributes when Lucifer rejoins them, and then everyone forgets about the host’s arms. They’ve been eclipsed by broad shoulders, a narrow waist and a beautifully long torso that leads to the sort of mouthwatering abdominal V which invites fingers to dip past waistlines.

_ Holy shit.  _ Chloe snaps her mouth shut and lifts her eyes to his face. Her instant reaction is a little embarrassing; she doesn’t want to be the sort of woman that loses her head over a six pack and nice shoulders, but Lucifer’s body is hard to ignore.

“Right—it’s far too hot to sit out in the sun so pool time it is,” he says as he makes his way to the water. “And no cracks about how pale I am, alright? I own a nightclub and I’ve never been a morning person so most of the daylight hours are wasted on me.”

The previously sunbathing women all follow him into the water just to stay close, and before long Karma is perched on Lucifer’s shoulders while Maze allows Eve to climb up on hers, and a game of pool chicken begins.

In the end, Maze and Eve win because Ella sneaks up behind Lucifer and grabs his ass at an opportune moment, causing him to jump and Karma to lose balance. She topples into the water and suddenly, everyone is splashing one another.

“Ella, give me a hand,” Chloe says. She points to Linda and Charlotte, who are ruthlessly splashing Candy and Judith. Quietly, Chloe indicates to Ella that they should do a surprise pincer attack, and the two of them separate and move in on their targets.

“Take  _ that!”  _ Ella hollers as she sweeps an arm through the water to send a huge wave toward Charlotte while Chloe sends a torrent over Linda’s head with a mighty scoop of her arms. Maze comes out of nowhere, tackling Ella from the side when she tries to take on Eve, and Charlotte and Linda have now teamed up against Chloe.

“You’re going down, Decker,” Charlotte calls to her, and Chloe beckons them closer, daring them to attack as she braces herself for a face full of water.

While she’s distracted by them, two strong arms lock around her middle from behind and sweep her up out of the pool with breathtaking ease. Lucifer launches her up and falls back with her, plunging her under the surface. She can hear him laughing even from beneath the water, and she surges back to her feet intent on revenge.

“That was a cheap move!” she says as she pushes wet hair out of her eyes.

“Did you expect me to play fair, Detective? And here I thought you were getting the measure of me,” he replies with a sinful grin.

“Oh, it’s on,” she growls, and she charges him. She isn’t alone, either; within moments, half the women in the pool have ganged up on him and he’s in the center of a manmade tempest. It only ends when he throws up his arms and admits defeat.

And maybe it’s the most fun she’s had in a long,  _ long _ time. There’s nothing wrong with that. Besides, she’s  _ supposed  _ to flirt with him. It’s just that it doesn’t feel like she’s pretending.

“C’mon,” Charlotte says, interrupting her thoughts. She’s making her way to the pool stairs behind Chloe. “Let’s go see who’s going on that group date.”

* * *

The next afternoon, there’s a knock on Chloe’s door. She opens it to reveal Marcus, smiling at her over a stack of long boxes in his arms.

“For your date tonight. Leave the rejects outside of your door and someone will collect them,” he tells her. “Be ready to go by five, okay?”

Chloe nods and waves him in so he can deposit the dress boxes on her bed. There are no cameras with him, but there is a cart full of other boxes and garment bags waiting in the hall.

“I see we’re all getting the Cinderella treatment,” she says as he walks back toward the door. But he stops just short of leaving and turns toward her. He seems pensive as they observe each other.

“Do you think someone on the show is dangerous?” he asks.

“Yes.”

“And once you’re done with your investigation, you’ll be done with the show?”

“Yes…” Chloe’s brow furrows as she tries to figure out where this line of questioning is taking them, but Marcus surprises her by grinning, his whole face lightening like a school boy’s.

“So then I’d be free to ask you out,” he concludes, and Chloe feels her eyes widen.

“Oh! Uh...well…I guess I wouldn’t be pretending to fight for Lucifer’s affection anymore,” she says, although she finds herself reluctant to respond more positively to Marcus’ suggestion. He’s handsome and a few weeks ago she would have been thrilled to be asked on a date by him...but  _ something _ is happening with Lucifer.

_ It isn’t real. _

No, that’s not right. It isn’t  _ supposed  _ to be real, but her emotions aren’t fake.

At least Marcus doesn’t seem to notice her hesitation. He’s still smiling at her, confident now. “Well...in that case, maybe I’ll have to shoot my shot. When our timing is better, of course.”

“When we’re not working a case, you mean,” she says, and if her smile is a little forced, he doesn’t seem to notice that either.

“I’ll look forward to it.” He steps out into the hallway and settles into his TV show host persona again. “Have a good time tonight, Chloe.”

“Thank you,” she replies. He moves away and she shuts the door, feeling off-kilter. She hadn’t expected Marcus to make an overture and she hadn’t expected her attraction to Lucifer to complicate her answer. And none of that, she reminds herself firmly, has anything to do with the case.

She selects one of the three dresses that Marcus had dropped off, finishes her hair and makeup, has a strategy meeting with Dan, and then finds herself in a limo with Karma, Linda, Lily, Suki, Ella, Eve and Jana.

“Did all of you get an apron too?” Linda asks. Jana makes a face while everyone else nods, and Chloe pulls her own apron out of her bag. It’s a plain white apron but in the bottom corner, someone has embroidered a heart with devil horns in bright red thread. The other seven are identical to hers.

“I hope we’re not cooking,” Suki says. “One time I set instant ramen on fire, I don’t think I’d do well in the kitchen.”

Eve hums thoughtfully and traces her fingers over the horned heart, but Jana is more opinionated. “If he wants someone to cook for him,” she says, “he can hire us a chef. I’m a flight attendant, I’m rarely home for meals anyway.”

“I’m down to experiment. I bet he likes spicy food,” Ella says, “and I know spicy. My brothers used to make me eat all kinds of the hottest peppers. I’d be so gross, my nose would run and my eyes would water but they’d tease me if I didn’t do it.”

“And you still like spicy food?” Linda asks, and Ella shrugs.

“I just got used to it I guess.”

They drive for a little more than an hour. Eve breaks out the champagne so by the time the car pulls to a stop half of them are tipsy and giggling. Chloe’s eyes are taking in their destination: a little brick building with a white façade on a nondescript street in Redlands. Lucifer is waiting out front, and as the limo comes to a stop he strides over to help the women out of the back. Eve is out first in a swirl of cherry-red skirts, and Chloe comes last. He squeezes her hand as she steps onto the sidewalk, and she smiles up at him.

“This is Parliament Chocolate, and despite its humble appearance, I can assure you that the treats inside are some of the most devilishly delicious in the nation,” he tells the group. “Therefore I thought we’d all skip dinner and head straight for dessert. The shop is ours for the evening, and the shop’s chocolatier is waiting inside to help us all design our own chocolate bars.”

“Ohhh this is bad,” Linda says, though she’s grinning wide at the sight of the decedent window displays. “Chocolate is my downfall.”

Eve flashes her a grin. “It’s one of mine, too.”

They all crowd inside where a woman is waiting to show them how to craft their own chocolate. The room is covered with all kinds of fun and unique ingredients for them to use, and small batches of chocolate are already being tempered under the chocolatier’s watchful eye.

The lesson begins with a rundown of where the cocao beans are being sourced from and why the chocolate is being tempered, and then they’re free to pick ingredients to add to their chocolate bars before returning to their stations. Chloe ensures her station is right next to Suki’s. The other woman has grabbed soft caramels and candied peanuts to add to hers, as well as some red and pink candy flakes to decorate the top. Chloe’s decided to add coffee and toffee to hers.

“So,” she says conversationally to Suki, “are you having fun with this whole thing? The competition, I mean.”

“Oh yeah! I spend a lot of time on my own in my room, but I’m like a...an extroverted introvert, you know? I like being with people. And living in mansions or riding around in nice cars? It’s like a preview of what my life with Lucifer is going to be when he picks me,” Suki replies. She nudges her glasses up her nose and adds a little extra caramel to add into her melted chocolate.

Chloe taps finely ground coffee into hers, watching it get incorporated into the chocolate as she stirs it.

“What do you think of Marcus?” she asks.

“Who cares about Marcus?” Suki makes a face and wrinkles her nose as she glances over at Chloe. “He’s nothing next to Lucifer.”

“What about us? The rest of us girls, I mean. You must not like us very much.”

Suki shrugs. “I’m not threatened by any of you if that’s what you mean. Lucifer will recognize that my love is deep and true and then the rest of you won’t matter.”

“But what if one of us was getting close to him?” Chloe stops fiddling with her chocolate and turns to face Suki head on. “What then?”

Suki stares at her, a little taken aback by her sudden intensity. “Uh...I guess I’d just have to work even harder to prove to him that he belongs with me.”

“You wouldn’t want to hurt us?”

“You’re...kind of freaking me out,” Suki tells her and Chloe backs off for now. She’s frustrated but this isn’t going anywhere, and if she pushes Suki any harder now she might lose any goodwill she’s built up. Besides, Suki is obsessive but she doesn’t seem too threatening.

Suddenly Lucifer pops over to their work area. His hair is mussed and there’s a smudge of lipstick on his cheek that seems to match Jana’s. He peers at their ingredients before offering them each a vibrant smile.

“How’s it going over here, ladies? Crafting anything particularly delicious?” he asks as Chloe pours her chocolate into the mould. She’s chosen one that will imprint her chocolate bar with tiny little owls as a nod to the shop’s name. She jumps when she spills a little over her fingers but the chocolate has cooled enough that it’s only warm. When she sets her bowl down, Lucifer catches her wrist and brings her hand to his lips.

She watches, breath frozen in her chest and heart hammering hard enough for her to hear, as he sucks one of her chocolate-covered fingers into his mouth. He’s gazing back with eyes that seem to burn into her.

“Lucifer,” she breathes out, stuttering a little as his tongue strokes against her skin. He’s tantalizingly thorough and whatever else she was going to say disappears as a wave of heat crashes over her. By the time her finger leaves his lips, her knees have gone weak and she grips the table with her free hand to stay upright.

_ Jesus, what the hell was that?  _ She’s never responded so strongly to anyone, but suddenly all she can think of is dragging him on top of this table and tearing his clothes out of her way before licking chocolate off of every inch of him.

“Mmm,” he hums as her hand falls back to her side. His smile is wicked and all-too-knowing as he takes in her stunned expression. She must be bright red. In fact, she’s controlling the need to pant for breath. “Detective, that was... _ delicious.” _

“Th-thank you,” she murmurs. Before her brain can reconstruct itself enough to form a coherent follow up, Suki nearly dives over the workstation with her own chocolate-covered fingers. She attempts to feed him but only succeeds in smearing it across his cheek. Then Eve pops up with a damp cloth to clean him off, holding his gaze as she rubs it gently against his skin. And just like that, Chloe’s moment is over.

They pack up their freshly wrapped chocolate bars and go to dinner, where Linda shares her pasta with Lucifer and Lily and Karma both try to steal him away to make out. Though their eyes meet many times across the table, Chloe doesn’t push herself forward or try to steal his attention. She focuses on asking Jana the same delicately-phrased questions she’d asked Suki.

By the time the date is over, she’s full of the restless dissatisfaction she always feels when a case isn’t going her way. She’s going to have to spend another week on the show.

She sighs and punches her pillow. Hopefully she turns up some leads soon. She wants to get back to her daughter and her regular cases and normal life—a life that doesn’t involve bikinis and cocktail dresses and stolen kisses on camera.

But there’s only one way she’s going to get her life back, and that’s to find who wants to hurt these people and stop this show.

_ You can do this,  _ she tells herself.  _ You’re good at this and you’re going to catch the bad guy. _

She isn’t sure if the pep talk is working, but eventually she drops off to sleep anyway.


End file.
